Listen Using Liel Lowndes "SOFTENER" Technique

Leil Lowndes is an international speaker and author about the topic of conversations. You can find more information about her at her website: http://www.lowndes.com/. The following is written by Rohit Rohila and is only a summary Leil Lowndes work.

One of the most important techniques that Liel discusses is what she calls the SOFTEN Technique.
S mile
O pen Body
F orward Lean
T ouch
E ye Contact
N odding
E nergy Level
R elative Distance

Smile- Sounds simple, doesn't it? When someone is talking to you, smile! So few people do it, and most who do it abuse it. Don't just stand there smiling the entire time. The speaker gets the feeling that they are not important, nothing special about them, that you just smile at everyone and everything that walks by. Instead do what Liel calls a "Flooding Smile." Instead of immediately smiling, take a second, pause, look at the speaker's face, then slowly smile. The speaker feels as if though you are smiling because of them, and they get the feeling that you find them special. They will be drawn to you and your magnificent smile!

Open Body Language- Close your eyes, imagine that you are speaking to someone. They are standing still, arms crossed, not moving at all. Did you feel comfortable? Did you get the feeling that the other speaker had more important things on his mind? Often times this is the way we listen and we don't even realize the negative message we are sending out. Instead of crossing your arms, simple place your hands behind your back. Not only is it comfortable, but you give off the impression that you are extremely interested in the other speaker.

Forward Lean- Have you ever really looked around in the movie theater? You can always tell when the climax of the movie is because everyone is on the edge of their seats. It shows that they are extremely interested in what is going on. Just like at the movies, when you are engaged in a conversation, lean forward a little and let the person speaking know that you are hanging on their every word. Now don't lean to far, and don't lean all the time, just every now and then and only when appropriate.

Touch- When you are speaking with someone, and they reach out and touch your arm or your hand, how does it make you feel? A light simple touch gives the speaker a sense that a connection has been made. When a person tells a joke, laugh, smile, touch their shoulder or arm, and make a little comment about how funny they are.

BE VERY CAREFUL!!!! It is VERY easy to give the wrong impression with light touches. There are some social rules that must be followed. First off only touch a person 1 time, anymore and it's too much. Second, do not touch at work. Third, if you are a male, be careful that you will not offend a female speaker.

Eye Contact- We hear all the time how important eye contact is, yet we still don't do it. You should close out the world and focus on the speaker. The other day I was in a meeting with a business associate. Several times in our hour long meeting, he looked at his watch, his cell phone, and the people walking by. Now I'm sure he had reasons for doing this, maybe he had a meeting to go to afterwards and was on a tight schedule? Maybe he was supposed to meet someone? Whatever the case, I felt like he was bored with what I was saying and was looking around for anything that was more exciting.

Another time when you should have great eye contact is when you are speaking to a group of people. Now there are many who believe that you should scan the room, making brief eye contact with everyone and keep your eyes moving. I feel that this just creates an illusion of being aware of your audience. Instead, as you are speaking, look directly into the eyes of a random individual for a few seconds. Not only does this let them know that you are aware of them, but they will make certain to pay extra attention in case you look at them again. Now be careful not to stare, just a few seconds, with a warm smile should do the trick.

Nodding- Nodding your head up and down not only lets the speaker know that you are interested and engaged in the conversation, but it also lets them know that you are listening. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they nod their head side to side? This is an indication that the listener has made up their, the speaker is wrong, and they have stopped listening and are ready for a rebuttal. Another thing that you can do wrong is be a human bobble-head. Only nod occasionally, and when the speaker is making a point, even if you do not agree with the point.

Energy Level- This is perhaps the most important aspect for the SOFTENER Listening Technique. Now don't be bouncing off the walls, but don't stand there completely emotionless like a corpse. Be excited, SHOW them that you are listening. Take deep breathes, get some oxygen to your brain. Be awake and energized.

Relative Distance- The distance between yourself and the speaker is very important. Too far away, and it feels as if though you are not involved. Too close and you are invading a persons personal space. A good rule of thumb is that you should be about an arms length away.

Now go out and practice these techniques. Use them all the time with everyone you speak with.

Jeffery Combs' Animals- The Most Important Thing I've Learned

Jeffery Combs is an international speaker and author about the topic of conversations. You can find more information about him at her website: http://goldenmastermind.com. The following is written by Rohit Rohila and is only a summary of Jeffery Combs' work.

When I began Network Marketing (Spring of 04) I struggled no matter how hard I tried. I just couldn't understand why nobody would want to join my business? It was an incredible Network Marketing company, world class products, fantastic team, why wouldn't anyone want to become a part of this?

That November, my local leadership flew in an incredible Network Marketing Professional who was changing people's lives, Jeffery Combs. He had some great information, but still I was missing something. I decided to purchase his entire audio collection and listened to it religiously. I still struggled with the business, nothing was working.

It wasn't until December that I listened to his audio set called "Animal Factor". I finally realized why I hadn't been successful, why I was communicating, but not connecting with people. Animal Factor introduces us to 4 Animals (Lion, Monkey, Owl, Koala) and their personality types.

Ah ha! I finally got it. The one thing that I was never taught in my training kit, from my sponsor, from my upline, from books, from audios, from websites, no one was talking to me about personality types. Here is a brief description to each animal type:

• The Lion: Aggressive, dominant, also known as Type A or Red color
• The Monkey: Connectors, life of the party, also known as Blue color
• The Owl: Analytical, thinkers, facts/details, also known as Green color
• The Koala: Nurturer, relaters, also known as Yellow color

See, I am a Koala. I want to build strong teams that support each other, meet new people, and build stronger relationships with my friends in the business. So when I would talk to all of my prospects, that's what I told them that the business was about. As you can see, only the Koala's are interested in that, that is why I wasn't have any success.

I spent a lot of time working with the different Animal Types. Recognizing their strengths, weaknesses, how to identify them, everything. That's when I went back to my prospects again, and this time, I was having success.

I went to an Owl and showed him the facts and figures about the compensation plan, how many points they needed to make x amount of dollars, and how they could using a proven tracking method to analyze their sign-up ratios.

I went to a Lion and showed her how she could double her income based off of her skills and how by being the CEO of her own company, no one would have to tell her what to do and she is in charge of her own destiny.

I went to a Monkey and showed him how he can create a residual income so that he can earn an additional $1,000 a month and be able to afford a Porsche and go snowboarding more often.

As you can see, once I was able to relate to my prospect, I was able to identify what was important to them, and then alter my presentation towards their individual personality. I had immediate success.

Now when I train someone new, the very first thing we go over is the Animal Types. When I am doing a 2-on-1 presentation, I will ask what animal the prospect is. The Animal Types have revolutionized my entire organization.

Look for more detailed explanations of the Animals soon.

The Power of Generation Y

Loosely, Generation Y are those born between the years 1978-1998. This generation, approximately 60 Million + and three times larger than Generation X, is quickly becoming the most important generation in history. In between their MySpace accounts, iPods, and other technologies, they are getting ready to face world-wide issues like the status of the World Economy, The Middle East, Iraq, and Global Warming.

Gen Y is also learning everything it knows about the world from their parents, the Baby Boomer Generation. As a member of Gen Y, I have noticed what many other Gen Y members are also learning... we don't want our parent's lifestyle.

My parents moved here from India when they were 25 and have worked hard for the State of Washington ever since. They have never been in any legal troubles and have been model citizens. They both worked 40 hours a week so growing up, I didn't get a chance to see them that often. In fact, they were spending more time with their co-workers, than they were with me. Vacations were few and far between, that is when they could get the time off. I didn't have a rough childhood, but then again we didn't exactly have a lot of luxuries either. All in all, I would say working hard as State Employees for the past 30 years has given them an average lifestyle.

I love my parents to death, but I realized one important thing... THE SUCCESS FORMULA DOESN'T WORK!!!! What is the Success Formula? I'm sure you heard it from your parents... work hard, get good grades, go to college, get a good job, get promoted to middle management, work till you are 65, and then retire. It has also been called the "40-40-40-40 plan" by Jefferey Combs, and that means that you work hard for 40 hours, for 40 years, making 40 thousand, and then retire with a $40 Timex. The thing is that I watched my parents work hard and yet they never lived an above average lifestyle, that's not what I want and neither do the rest of us Gen Y'ers.

College doesn't teach you anything. The goals everyone has is to have complete financial freedom, but college doesn't provide that. I am a college graduate in Computer Science. I learned about outdated computer programming and technology from a top school by professors who knew less about technological trends than I did. In his book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said that the more education you have, the better slave you are to someone else. I never learned about financial freedom in college, or how to break out of the rat race, or anything else on how to create an above average lifestyle.

See I look around and see that people are working hard (40+ hours a week) and they are living average lifestyles. Working hard for 40+ hours a week is not going to help me with accomplish my goals and dreams. I have too much ambition to just live an average life.

Here is what we, Gen Y, has learned:

• The Success Formula, the traditional way of producing success doesn't work
• College is ineffective as a means to success
• Business owners are making all the money
• Residual Income is the only type of income that leads to success
• Time-Leveraging leads to success

We know that there has to be a better way out there, we just need to be introduced to Network Marketing and we will become successful. We have the money (I get pre-approved credit card junk mail at least twice a week), we have the ambition, we don't want our parents life-style! Show us how we can take our abilities, our drive, and start our own Network Marketing business and gain the freedom our parents worked so hard for... yet never reached!

There is a way to speak to Generation Y. You can't just use the traditional prospecting approaches because we get so many offers everyday that we know what you are trying to do. Look for advice on how to approach Generation Y in the coming weeks.

Be Interested... NOT Interesting!

You should be VERY excited about being the CEO of your own company! Not only are you participating in the number 1 way for the average person to live an above average lifestyle, but you are the one who is finally controlling your life. You get to decide how much money you make, who you work with, when you go on vacations, and how much personal growth you go through. It's very rewarding and exciting.

It's also because of that excitement, that we tend to lose focus on what this business is all about in the first place, achieving your dreams by helping other people achieve theirs. Although it's easy to get talk to people about YOUR life, it's your the prospects life that you SHOULD be interested in.

Too often Network Marketers do a presentation by telling the prospect all about their goals, their dreams, how much money they are making, the obstacles they overcame, etc. It's all about them. But all this means very little to the prospect. The prospect is wondering:

• Can Network Marketing work for me?
  
• I'm not a salesperson, can I still do this?
• How much money can I make?
• Do I know anyone who would be interested?
• Are the products and company really THAT good?
• What are the costs associated with this and can I afford it?
• Do I have the time to do this?

As you can see, the prospect is very concerned with their own abilities to do this business. They are watching everything that you are doing and are wondering if they can do the same thing (how duplicatable are your presentations?). Despite what you may believe, telling the prospect about your ability offers little assurance to the prospect.

The reason why someone will join your business is because it will help them directly, either by giving them time freedom or more money. When you are speaking to a prospect, it's all about them, not you. Use the "Inviting Formula (http://successfulnm.blogspot.com/2006/11/inviting-formula.html) to find out what the prospect wants, doesn't want or needs. Then show them how by joining your business will help them in getting what they want, don't want or need. Focusing on the prospect ensures them that you have their best interests and that with your leadership, the training, the company, and the products or services, that they too can achieve their goals.

Need Help... Just Ask!

Few people who join Network Marketing have owned their own businesses, so when they get started, they ask a lot of "How-to" questions from their sponsors and other successful people. Frequent questions are:

• How do I contact people?
• How do I advertise?
• Should I have a website?
• How do you follow-up?

These are all great questions, but they are the wrong kinds of questions. All these questions do is get you used to asking how something is done... but not why. So why is it important to know Why something is done instead of how? Have you ever been in a slump? A week or a month or two go by and you've made your Network Marketing business more of an afterthought? Holidays get in the way, vacations, etc.

When you stop working the business, it's because you don't understand what doing the business actually means. Say for example you ask a successful Cold Market Network Marketer (a Network Marketer who doing most of their business through cold market leads) how to approach people, well they won't have the best advice because most of their contacts are people they've never met. Instead if you ask them to show you how they talk to their contacts, it changes everything. Now instead of having a simple few steps to follow, you understand the process.

Most people are afraid to ask for help because of their ego. If you do something all by yourself, without asking for any help, then you get all of the credit. You feel better about yourself and use that success to push yourself forward. Another reason is people feel weak when they have to ask for help. But do you think Bill Gates did it all by himself, or do you think he asked a few people for help along the way? Do you think Bill Gates is weak? See my point?

Another thing happens when you ask someone for help, they feel better about themselves. So not only do you gain knowledge about the process of why something works, but you help those around you. Most people will not ask for help. They would rather go down, fail, than to ask for help. Take the necessary steps right now to help your business by asking someone for help.

Closing Time...

"every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end..."
Closing Time- Semisonic

It's official, 2006 is over. For many of you, 2006 was a year where you continued your Network Marketing Career while many of you joined the millions of people around the world already involved in the industry. While Network Marketing continues to be the #1 way for the average person to live an above average lifestyle, very few people actually take Network Marketing seriously enough to be able to live an above average lifestyle.

So take a look at your business this past year. Have you given your dreams enough respect to actually work towards achieving them. What happened?

There are thousands of excuses that people can give. Not enough time, not enough support from friends or spouses, no downline support, no upline support, no cross line support, the boxes that the company uses are too blue, the brochures are too red. Ok, so maybe I exaggerated on the last few, but you get my point.

Like my mentor Jerry Clark always says, it's EASY to do this business, but it's EASIER NOT to do this business. You know what it will take to make yourself successful. Not only does your company provide you with excellent training and step by step instructions on how to develop a successful business, but there are millions of websites, speakers, books, videos, seminars, audios, etc. to help you along the way.

So start off the New Year with a commitment to not only yourself, not your company, not your mentors, but most important, start off with a commitment to YOUR GOALS! GOALS only become reality if you make them! Get started today by writing down your goals using the SMART Method (I learned the SMART method while attending a Personal Mastery Seminar by Kelmmer Associates).
S= Specific, your goals should be as SPECIFIC as possible
M= Measurable, make sure that your goals are measurable
A= Attainable, don't plan on going to the moon in a week
R= Risky, if your goals isn't outside of your comfort zone, you won't grow
T= Timely, set a deadline for your goal.

Poor Goal: I want to make more money this year
SMART Goal: I want to make an additional $5,000 by July 2007 by enrolling 2 new associates a month and doing 5 presentations a week.

You can clearly see the difference between the two goals. The SMART goal gives you clear steps to follow in acheiving your goals. So now that you know what a SMART goal is, go ahead, and create a list of goals. Once you have your list, post it everywhere! Next to your bed, in your car, at the office, give a list to your friends, mentors, supporters, everyone. HOLD yourself accountable.

2007 is could be the year that you gain your freedom... if you want it!